Hypnotherapy in Tonbridge, Maidstone, Tunbridge Wells and Sevenoaks
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Hypnotherapist in Tonbridge, Maidstone, Tunbridge Wells & Sevenoaks, Kent.
Thank you for visiting my website. I’m Richard, a trained hypnotherapist based near Tonbridge, accredited by the National Council of Psychotherapists and the Kent Institute of Clinical Hypnotherapy.
As a hypnotherapist, I specialise in hypno-analysis – a form of hypnotherapy designed to resolve problems or behaviour patterns such as insecurity, anxiety, low self-esteem, addictions or jealousy that may go back many years. If you have trouble making relationships work, for instance, or losing weight, this style of hypnosis may well help you to make profound and lasting changes. It’s very unlikely that anyone is born with problems like these – they develop in our lives as a result of sub-conscious programs that we unknowingly pick up, mostly in childhood.
Under hypno-analysis the client re-visits those early events and in doing so discharges the emotional hold which they have continued to have over them. A client told me recently that she felt as if I had taken a heavy rucksack from her that she didn’t realise she had been carrying.
By definition, we cannot be consciously aware of our sub-conscious beliefs, and many people spend their whole lives thinking ‘it’s just the way I am’. Through hypnotherapy we can target those unhelpful or limiting sub-conscious beliefs, replacing them with more positive ones, and the results can be life-changing.
For anyone who has any concerns about hypnosis or hypnotherapy sessions, I can assure you that you will at all times be aware of what you are saying, and can come out of the state at any time. Hypnosis is simply a state of deep relaxation that allows you access to memories and emotions that would otherwise be inaccessible to you. I have never met anyone yet who is un-hypnotisable, or who did not find it a pleasant experience.
How can hypnotherapy help you?
“I no longer take a back seat and let the anxiety rule me.”
“I’ve not had an alcoholic drink since, and I have no desire to have one.”
“I would recommend anyone with addictions or issues to put themselves in Richard’s expert hands.”
“I have a real sense of a heavy load having been lifted.”
“Thanks to you for helping me turn my life around.”
“Richard has provided that safe space for me.”
Hypnosis is a versatile tool that can help people from all walks of life with many different issues. The following are a few of the areas that hypnotherapy can help us make sense of and resolve together.
- Alcohol abuse
- Anger management
- Eating disorders
- Exam Stress
- Fear of Flying
- Food addiction and weight loss
- Gambling Addiction
- Insomnia and sleep disorders
- Irritable bowel syndrome
- Low self-confidence and self-esteem
- Panic attacks
- Public Speaking
- Relationship Issues
- Sex addiction
- Stress and relaxation
‘I went to see Richard after trying to find a cure for the serious fear of heights which I had experienced for many years. I had tried traditional hypnotherapy without success and had even become so desperate I tried to simply ‘cure’ myself by going up the Stratosphere on a trip to Las Vegas (an unmitigated disaster which lasted under 5 seconds!).
Richard was recommended to me, and I met him full of hope but with minimum expectation. The concept of being able to deal with this phobia in only 5 or 6 sessions seemed a tall order after suffering since before I could even remember. In ONE session, Richard managed to identify the source of the phobia and help me deal with it. That one session changed my life. I no longer go to client meetings worrying about the height of the building, I have just enjoyed another trip to Las Vegas with no need to call the hotel ahead to request a low level room, and I have enjoyed my first drinks on a roof bar.
I returned to Richard to explore some of the challenges relating to a recent bereavement. The help he gave in dealing with some of the outstanding issues was incredible. And he also unearthed some areas of my life I needed to improve on with absolutely no prior prompting.
It has not just been a positive experience for me in dealing with the fear of heights and coping with a bereavement. It has helped me understand other aspect of my life – in particular the discomfort I used to feel when people were intimate with me, and this has improved my relationships with my wife and my children.
I am delighted I met Richard. And have been recommending him to friends and family. I am happy to do the same publically. And to say thank you!’
“I now feel a deep passion and drive for life.”
For over 10 years I’ve struggled with social anxiety and low self esteem. I never felt like I was worth anything, was very insecure about my appearance and terrified of doing anything outside of my comfort zone. I’d panic when events were scheduled such as meetings at work or going to restaurants and days before these events I couldn’t think about anything else, imagining endless negative situations and trying to prepare for the worst. I’d feel sick and then panic, looking for excuses to back out. Despite passing my driving test, I was too scared to venture out on my own, and had never had a girlfriend. I spent all of my free time lost in solitary interests like video games which were a substitute for real achievements and distracted me from resolving my problems.
My 25th birthday was a milestone as I finally realised I was never going to grow out of my anxiety. I plucked up the courage to find help and look into getting therapy. In the back of my mind I had concerns that I would be pushed to do things I was uncomfortable with or that I’d be hit with hard truths. I couldn’t have been more wrong.
I’m so pleased that I chose to do hypno-analysis with Richard as I immediately felt comfortable, relaxed and at ease in his company. He listens to me without judgement and gives me the confidence to believe in myself. We’ve uncovered insightful memories from my past where I had felt ashamed, guilty or anxious and released those emotions so they no longer bother me. Richard has also revealed connections to my current behaviours that have been influenced by my childhood. I no longer care so much about how awkward I feel and am getting better at ignoring the voice in my head that tells me what others must be thinking of me. In social situations I am now pushing past my self-imposed limits and the friendly interactions that have resulted have surprised me.
After only four therapy sessions I’m now able to drive wherever I want, have joined in with social groups at work, joined a gym and now look forward to social interactions, rather than making excuses to avoid them. With Richard’s help I now feel a deep passion and drive for life, and no longer take a backseat or let the anxiety rule me. I don’t worry so much how I compare with other people or the milestones that I have missed out on, instead becoming more aware of my positive characteristics, the opportunities that are available to me and my full potential. I’m close to achieving many great things such as moving out of my parents house, getting a better job, meeting other people and soon will start dating. I’m certain those lifestyle changes are just around the corner and I’ll be comfortable taking them on as I continue with Richard’s expert guidance. I couldn’t have done it without him. I hope sharing my experience might help someone else that’s experiencing similar problems.
“I have a real sense of a heavy load having been lifted.”
I would like to offer my sincere thanks to you for helping me to turn my life around.
I must admit that I approached my first session with a great deal of fear of the unknown and trepidation, not to mention the large degree of skepticism that I had about the power of hypnosis. How wrong I was! You put me at ease in the first five minutes of our meeting. You explained what would happen, that I was going to be aware all of the time and that I would still feel ‘in control’. You took time and listened to me. It is only looking back that I realise how skilful your questions and suggestions really were and I can now see that the first session was based on our discussions.
As the sessions progressed I began to look forward to them and I learned many things about myself, some of which were not always comfortable. But once I released these memories I was able to move on without fear and am now able to think about my past with feelings of calmness – I have a real sense of a heavy load having been lifted.
You told me that you would know when I had reached the full potential from the sessions and strangely enough I too knew when that time had been reached. I now have a new job and a much happier and more balanced home life, and am able to approach each day with anticipation that it will be a good day.
Once again Richard, I thank you for your sympathetic approach, your wisdom and understanding, and your extreme professionalism.
“The peace this brought me was absolutely immense.”
Over the last year, life had really got on top of me. I am usually an upbeat person, but due to problems at work and the death of a very close friend, I completely lost my enthusiasm. I became depressed and unmotivated and because in some ways I blamed myself for not convincing my friend to go to hospital, I was wracked with guilt. I felt everyone was out to get me, even my friends. I had completely lost my spark. I often just sat and cried for no reason, and this is when I realised I really needed help.
I contacted Richard because I had heard that hypno-analysis could be highly effective. On our second session we focussed on loss and grief and inevitably the death of my friend. Richard hypnotised me, then asked me to have the conversation with her that I never had, tell her all the things I wanted to say to her and never did, and then say goodbye. He then asked me to visualise my friend walking away from me. This was such a powerful vision, my friend looked happy and well and went to a place where there were many other people and animals I had loved and lost. The peace this brought to me was absolutely immense. I sobbed my heart out and felt totally drained. I slept well that night and the following day, and still several weeks later, I feel a totally different person.
So many people at work were amazed at the change in me – I was back to being my old self – having fun and enjoying my friendships again. I had no idea how much the unresolved grief was pulling me down. I have other areas to work on, and I will continue to work with Richard, but I am already so much more confident and able to deal with life’s problems in a much more positive way.
“After a long absence, the man I met and fell in love with has returned!”
In March 2017 I asked my husband to seek help from Richard. Our relationship had reached a low point where neither one of us felt able to cope with life to the extent that neither felt happy or satisfied, despite having achieved so much independently and together, including raising two amazing children, we just couldn’t see the wood for the trees or appreciate anything or each other.
Community life had posed similar challenges with my husband falling out with multiple individuals, including a neighbour and good friend resulting in a community resolution being issued by the police and a heated argument with a friend of many years. He sought solitude over being in company.
Our relationship was such that there was an absence of intimacy, trust and respect. Family life was strained and tensions were high all the time. We were snappy with each other and the children. My husband was particularly quick to anger and was oblivious as to how his demeanour was affecting us all on a daily basis. As the situation worsened and rationality was being lost, I sought independent counselling and was subsequently signed off work by my doctor for two weeks on anti-depressants.
It was against this backdrop that my husband contacted Richard to see if he would be able to help restore calm in our lives by unlocking the anger that boiled over on a daily basis. He was sceptical at first, but was desperate to return to some kind of normality within family life and once again appreciate everything in it.
From the very first therapy session, he reported feeling far calmer and not anxious or apprehensive with regards to family and work life. Relationships, within the family and outside, were immediately less strained. He no longer feels the need for solitude now, and is not as quick to anger with people or as ‘bothered’ by things as he was before the therapy. He said that it is only with hindsight that he can see how unacceptable his behaviour was.
I completely agree – I have seen a dramatic improvement in his demeanour since having six sessions with Richard. Since the very first session he has not let anything frustrate him and there has only been one angry outburst (which was prompted by our challenging 6 year old).
I am delighted to report that, after a long absence, the man I met and fell in love with has returned!
“Richard has provided that safe space for me”
I don’t know what led me to get in touch with Richard at the time I did. Maybe it was an unconscious last attempt to survive. I say ‘unconscious’ because in many ways I had already given up. I had come to accept that my self harm and eating disorder (Anorexia-Bulimia), depression, anxiety and sexual issues would be with me for life. I had spent more of my life with them than without and although I desperately wanted to get better; there was, as strange as it seems, a huge fear in the possibility of letting them go. They have been my comfort, security and friend despite being my worst enemy. I had no idea who I would be if I did not have them. Questioning my identity seemed beyond terrifying. It must have been an internal instinct of survival that brought me to see Richard as I had no idea what to expect.
As soon as I met Richard, I felt struck by his warmth and kindness. His ability to ‘hear’ me, even when I am unable to verbalise my thoughts, feelings and memories have enabled me to feel understood and accepted. There are things that I never expected I would be able to talk about in sessions but gradually as time goes by with Richard’s patience and non-judgemental approach, I am able to trust enough to disclose that bit more. This has been a huge relief for me.
Shame and guilt have eaten away at me through the years. I thought it would be hard or impossible to talk to a man about my childhood sexual past but have found my experience with Richard to be quite the opposite. I think by hearing a man talk with such kindness and disputing my internal negative script has been hugely therapeutic for me. There are only a few places in life where I have felt truly safe and Richard has provided that ‘safe space’ for me where I can feel psychologically ‘held’ whilst also facing and challenging my internal demons. My self harm and suicidal idealisations have reduced and my eating patterns have improved as my therapy progresses.
Richard has helped me to understand the choices I have made in my life and why I might have made them. Some of these realisations have felt stark but have enabled me to make decisions I would not have had the confidence to make before. This has come with a great feeling of freedom and self-empowerment.
Thank you, Richard, for really ‘getting’ me and helping me to feel like a somebody in the world. Thank you for allowing me to see a different way of life for my future by reigniting my motivation to live.
I came to Richard in a last, desperate attempt to get some help with my gambling addiction. I had run up debts of thousands of pounds. When I had spent all of my salary and there was no cash left, I would take out another credit card and max it out at online gambling sites. My son was distraught watching me ruin both of our lives.
I tried all kinds of therapy, but nothing worked until the five hypnotherapy sessions I had with Richard. Now, for the first time in years, I have no desire to gamble and I’m getting my life back together. I have also stopped drinking alcohol, and have resolved other emotional problems from my past which I didn’t even know I had. My days are now filled with hope and positivity. I am so grateful – I am starting to feel really happy again. I would recommend anyone with addictions or issues to put themselves in Richard’s expert hands.
After drinking every week for 30 years, I started to notice that it had become a daily routine. I increasingly found that I needed to drink to relax – on a typical evening I might drink six Gin and Tonics and a bottle of wine, and double that on weekends. Despite having lost several close friends to alcoholism I found it impossible to reduce my intake to a healthier level using willpower. I decided I needed help.
I chose Hypnotherapy, and I was surprised to find that it was both enjoyable and fascinating. Every adult carries with them some kind of “baggage” from their past – what most people don’t realise is the ongoing influence that this baggage can have on their day-to-day behaviour. It made perfect sense when Richard explained to me that anything I did which I did not consciously want to do, like drinking alcohol excessively, was driven by my subconscious mind.
After just one session I felt so much better, and after the 3rd session I was finished, and ready to take on the world. Richard’s advice, based on medical grounds, was to reduce my alcohol intake over several months, but I decided to just stop. I have not had an alcoholic drink since, and I have no desire to have one. Having resolved the subconscious desire to drink, it does not even take willpower to stay ‘dry’. I still take clients out for lunch and go to the pub with friends, but I drink lime and soda. I feel totally relaxed doing so, and wake up hangover free and with money in my pocket.
I don’t miss drinking alcohol, and I enjoy being a better version of myself. The biggest differences I have found are that my relationships with my wife and my daughter have improved, I sleep better, I have more energy and self-respect, and I have lost weight – so the money I have saved by not drinking will need to be spent on new clothes!
Thank you Richard for all your help, you are a real gentleman.
“After six sessions my controlling and destructive anorexic mind was finally silenced”
I had suffered from anorexia and anxiety for over five years. Having tried CBT and counselling without success, I decided to try hypno-analysis with Richard. I felt that I needed some form of therapy that really looked deep into my issues; this is exactly what hypno-analysis does.
I had begun to think that I would be stuck with anorexia forever, but Richard soon began to uncover the underlying issues regarding control that were causing the problem. After a few sessions I was already seeing positive changes in myself – my anxiety was lower and I had a more positive outlook on life in general. After six sessions my controlling and destructive anorexic mind was finally silenced! I no longer count the calories when I want to eat. I no longer lie awake at night thinking I look like an elephant. This is the most amazing feeling, and I am back to thinking and behaving like the old me. A weight has truly been lifted off my shoulders and my mind.
Richard is an amazing therapist, he has such a warm and calming demeanour about him which made me feel instantly able to open up to him and explore my problems. I would recommend hypno-analysis to anyone wanting real lasting results – whether they suffer from anorexia or any other psychological problem. My sessions with Richard really helped to release the issues inside me and get to a level of peace and happiness which I never though possible.
“Richard a lovely relaxed, understanding and non judgemental manner which makes it easy to get the most out of the sessions.”
I came across Richard and his therapy (hypno-analysis) whilst looking for hypnotherapy to help me stay calm and non reactive no matter what my adopted son threw at me. With a damaged child it’s so important to show unconditional love at all times to help them feel secure and safe. I wanted some additional support to help me through these periods.
What I didn’t expect was not only to be given an inner peace and strength to enable me to be so much calmer generally, but also to unburden a huge amount of emotional baggage, grief, concerns, fears and incorrect beliefs about my own perceived shortcomings. I am now significantly calmer with my son no matter how hard he tries to push my buttons.
Each session with Richard involved understanding and dealing with these unresolved issues – and at the end of each session I left with a feeling of such lightness and happiness. Amusingly, when talking with Richard prior to the therapy, I assured him that I was totally fine about the events of my past and that I felt totally in control at this moment in time. How wrong I was! In just three sessions I feel I have benefited enormously from addressing these unknown and unresolved emotions. I was shocked about the areas that were quite obviously still having a big effect on me.
I have been chatting to my friends and family and they are all amazed at the beneficial effect that hypno-analysis has had on me. My husband is going to have some sessions with Richard after me as I’m very sure it will give him the same inner peace and resolve to deal so much better with things life throws at us. Some of my friends are hoping to as well. In fact I think that anyone would feel so much better from having some sessions with Richard. He has a lovely relaxed, understanding and non judgemental manner which makes it easy to get the most out of the sessions.
I do not remember feeling so good in a very long time.
I have had Fibromyalgia for 23 years. It has been a very debilitating condition because I have always been a naturally energetic and enthusiastic person. Since I started suffering from it, periods of either stress or any physical activity as simple as carrying heavy bags, standing for long periods or walking for longer than half an hour would provoke an incredible fatigue and generalised body pain. It could take me two to three days to recover, having to lie down for long periods of time. As difficult as these symptoms have always been, the worst, however, for me, was the deep sadness that the impotence to fight and, indeed, have a normal life provoked. I have been depressed more often that I can remember as a consequence of the limitations the condition brought upon my life. Ultimately I realised that I had no option but to give up my well-paid career.
Training & Qualifications
Having studied the Lightning Process to help people with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and Psychological Kinesiology, I finished my training with the Kent Institute of Clinical Hypnotherapy, gaining a Diploma in Clinical Hypnotherapy with Psychotherapy.
I am a member of the National Council of Psychotherapists, and hold a current DBS Certificate.
How I got into hypnotherapy
Whilst we obviously cannot be consciously aware of what our subconscious programs are, there are fairly simple ways of finding out. As a hypnotherapist, in my sessions I aim to identify the programs my patients are running on, and set about changing them.
In my earlier life, the subconscious programs I refer to caused me to frequently indulge in high risk behaviour, make bad decisions, lack self-love, drink too much and lurch from one dysfunctional relationship to another. After many years I could not escape the obvious fact that the only thing that all my disasters, near misses and broken relationships had in common was me. I was the only common denominator. In my early fifties I recognised that change was well overdue, but I didn’t know where to start or how to do it.
During this long process of self-discovery I read widely, on subjects as diverse as anthropology, addiction, microbiology, neurology, psychology, hypnotism and many others. I also went on many courses, learning about Psychological Kinesiology, Emotional Freedom Therapy, Hypnotherapy, The Lightning Process and Psychotherapy. I find human behaviour fascinating, and I embarked on this journey because there were many things about my own behaviour, and that of my partners, that I struggled to make any sense of at all. However, once I eventually figured out what drove my chaotic behaviour, I turned everything around in a year. I am now calm, non-judgemental, happy in my own skin and I choose not to drink alcohol.
The knowledge I gained through reading and attending courses helped me to identify my underlying problems, and resolve them once and for all. I want to use this knowledge to directly help others to make similarly positive changes in their lives. Despite the fact that I am now an accredited hypnotherapist, I want anyone to be able to understand the messages and the processes, and follow the path I took.
Many people suspect that they need to make some fundamental changes to get their lives on track, but they have absolutely no idea how to do it. They read self-help books, but can’t relate what they read to the nuts and bolts of their own lives. They might even have some counselling, and gain some insight as to why they are the way they are, but that knowledge does not necessarily facilitate fundamental change.
Your subconscious mind so often sabotages what you consciously want, and I give practical advice on what to do about it and how to do it.
If you are looking for a hypnotherapist, get in touch today to arrange a free initial consultation in Tonbridge, and see how a hypnotherapy session could change your life for the better.